Emily’s story

“I wasn’t prepared for what life was actually going to throw at me. I had a really good job, I worked in sales, I had friends, I had this long-term partner – on paper my life was fine. I made money, I was never in debt, I was really good with my bills.

But quite a few things all happened at once, it wasn’t one single thing that you could just navigate and sort out. One thing led to another and I just ended up totally on my own. I got diagnosed with some mental health, PTSD and depression and I was like, oh gosh. Then I was signed off work sick, and I think that had an effect because you don’t have your routine anymore and you don’t have your money.

Being on Universal Credit caused me more worry. It’s an amazing service and I can’t believe we even have it, but it doesn’t even cover my rent. So not only do I not have the rent, I don’t have the bills, I don’t have the food money.

That lack of money for the basics made it really difficult. I was short around £500 rent a month – every month I’m so far behind. I was going into debt and it’s like how am I ever going to get out of debt? It makes everything else worse.

I felt really lost and stuck.  I just knew that I needed somebody to help me, some advice on what I needed to do. That’s the point I came to the food bank.

It was easy enough to get the food bank voucher, but what was really difficult was coming to the fact that you have to go to a food bank – that you cannot afford to live, that you’re going to have to accept support from a charity. And you’re going to go there and meet people, and they’re going to know your situation. I had to accept that this is my life at the moment, and five years ago it was a totally different life. I found that difficult, but I had no choice.

But when I went to St Mark’s food bank centre, I actually found that experience really pleasant. They’re really down to earth people. It really helped me get an understanding of what was going on, and that it was ok to accept the help.

It was just so nice to see people who are volunteering doing this amazing service, and to talk to them about some of their experiences of having hardship, which was why they have chosen to volunteer. I left feeling a bit better about myself – you know that you’ve got out of the house and you’ve spoken to somebody.

At the food bank, you’re not expected to know all the answers. I didn’t know what help I needed; I just knew that I was essentially stuck. I had no idea how to get out, I didn’t even know where to start.

I really like that while you were already at the food bank, you could go upstairs and see someone from the Foodbank Advice Project and say I need help. I saw Molly. Oh my gosh, she’s brilliant. She’s so knowledgeable – it’s like I’ll just say something to her, and it might not make any sense, and she’ll just compute it and make it make sense. She’s got a really good eye and a really good understanding of what she’s doing. I found it really easy to talk to her.

Molly helped with everything. The first time I saw her, we literally just went through everything and then she followed up within a few days about what the progress was. And I followed up with my own progress. I felt so motivated afterwards.

Then I had another question for her and she was at the food bank, and I went back to see her again. It was so easy, and we would just work through things together. I was talking to her about my bills and a debt management plan, because that monthly shortfall was going to make me so far in debt that I’m not going to get out. That’s what I was telling Molly about, the things that I’m really worried about.

She helped me apply for a Discretionary Housing Payment to help cover the rent, so now I’m not behind every month. She made sure I understood it all, because it’s all quite overwhelming. But the way she explained it was so helpful: this is your short-term plan, this is your medium-term plan, don’t even worry about the far future now – get this sorted, then do your next steps.

It’s been about 8 months since I had to go to the food bank for the first time and a lot has changed for the better. Molly has been helping me with housing costs, debt management and applying for Personal Independence Payment. I’ve even started talking to my doctor about going back to work part-time. Before I couldn’t even see forward, and now I can.

It’s been amazing. The amount of thought that’s gone into this food bank service – I hope they know it actually pays off because there was a point in time when I just couldn’t see a way out. I don’t even know why I got up in the morning, because I definitely didn’t want to.  But, somehow, I kept going.

The food bank is a massive support. In a strange way I almost looked forward to going because I knew I could ask questions, and especially when I started getting a bit more hope, it felt like maybe things will be okay. They made a difference, and that feeling stayed for a day or two afterwards. It really helps lift your mood.

It was the understanding that people go through difficult times, and this is what we can do together to get you back on your feet – and then they help you. They don’t just give you food and make you feel like a victim. It’s like, how are we going to get out of this?

It’s more helpful than just giving you food – it’s gives you a future, a plan, it makes you want to get better, it makes you want to keep going.”